My relationship with social media has never been a smooth one. Instilling fear and sadness; mixed with moments f happiness and achievement – I’ve never found it easy to ‘share my life’ with others. This might surprise you, after all, I can be accused of being an over-sharer: a blogger who talks about her life. And you’d be right. However, as honest as I am, I can be an unreliable narrator. I tell you my thoughts, some of my experiences, but there’s plenty I don’t. It’s not because I’m secretive – I’m quite the open book – rather that it’s irrelevant to the conversation. And sometimes, unbelievably to some of you, I might be out of words! Therefore, with the release of the book, I’ve had to open myself up to the fear of Facebook and the Twitter.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve been crapping myself about the whole thing: the book, people reading it; the feedback, the sharing, the comments – I just can’t cope! I’m in constant fear of offending someone. I worry that I’ll let the readers down. I’m now panicking about not having the audiobook ready for the blind and partially sighted community – I promise it’ll be here before the end of February. And then there is the fact that I’m rather rubbish at working the Facebook et al…
Apology here: if I added you to a messenger ‘room’ (I have no idea what this is and how it happened!) on Thursday evening, then I am extremely sorry. All I wanted was to send you a begging message! All I wanted was to start my Friday with a bang! It seems I might have set up some sort of group call on the same scale as Biden’s dual Zoom screens for his signing in! And, not content with this, I then managed to share the other ‘Lucy Swan’s’ (remember her from last week?) books with my community – asking people to share…
I know, how am I allowed to educate children?
With all this in mind, I started Friday a little jittery. Him said ‘what do you want to do tonight to celebrate?’ Me: ‘nothing’. And then, an hour into my daily walk: ‘what I want to do and can do are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS ENTIRELY!’ Instead, I did my make up and went for my weekly outing to M & S, which involved a mini panic attack at the hill. All because I knew I needed to do the whole social media thing when I got home.
But worse than the ‘Fear’ and my ineptness, of the world of social media, are my nagging doubts about my book.
I found writing the book was a real labour of love. The story, the settings, the characters- it all had to make sense. Be truthful. It all had to evoke an emotional response. Without that, there was no point. I needed it to take people through a range of emotions. Like life, it needed to be real. My characters became part of me; their stories had to be fully fleshed out, relatable and engaging. As their creator (Frankenstein moment here – look how that went!) I got to know them and didn’t want to let them down. If my readers didn’t invest in their journeys, then I’d done them an injustice. After all, their stories are important. They are written to be understood and provoke the reader to assess their own thinking, and most of all, enjoy!
What if my readers didn’t though? What if (big mistake here…) they write reviews like some of the ones I’ve read about other books on Amazon? Books which I’ve loved! Books which have won awards!
I suppose this is what happens when you raise your head above the parapet…and to reach a wider audience, that’s what I’m going to have to do!
So, as I launch myself onto a platform for all to survey, I can only hope that less eggs are thrown than flowers. It’s nerve racking sharing something which has become such a part of me. But even more so, those of you who have been kind enough to buy my book, I don’t want to let you down!
To download a copy:https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08TB4ZY9B/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_iiQcGbE0EEK7N
Paperback and audiobook to follow soon.