Ramblings From the Battlefield

Well, battling more like! Bit of.a moan (sorry) about the constant treadmill that we trundle along…what for? Yes, I’m rambling (clue in title) but ‘cuze me’ for being stroppy but seeing as it seems to be a prerequisite in my immediate household, then I think I’m allowed!

It all started with the migraine last week. Head crashing, body in exhaustion, a general virus of narcolepsy (yes I know it’s a condition but please see opening paragraph) ensued (I kid you not I was nodding standing up). Anyway, headache persisted and, as any of you hard working mummies will understand, with it came a household which came to a standstill. The ruins of the Acropolis had nothing on me when casting an eye over the house. Too tired to do ‘owt’, mop stagnating, bins overflowing and a laundry basket mushrooming to the point of creating a Tsunami of jumble out into adjoining rooms.

I did what I could and knew that ‘work’ had to take priority (pile of marking and lessons to plan) otherwise I would have a whole host of children twiddling their thumbs and starting a mutiny in my ‘tidy’ classroom (bless them they’d tided up whilst I was sick). So, for self preservation and sanity I neglected the children, Him, the house and my doggy (let alone the previous promises of improving image) to concentrate on what I get paid to do.

However, now we are in nuclear fallout zone and I’m in danger of migraine/narcolepsy relapse. Why you ask? (That would be those of you who have well ordered and uncomplicated lives which don’t involve husbands, children and furry friends). Yes, I’m now battling the decay creeping in from ‘taking ones eye off the ball’ for the past couple of weeks.

You see, I’ve been having dreams. Heavy, fitful and epic adventures, which, were like watching a mini series (I prefer the eighties term to the now socially acceptable ‘box set’ which connotes something you’d buy from Victoria’s Secret) back to back. Dreams which were so long and convoluted that it felt like I’d done a days work by the time I’d woken up. In fact, one dream had me waitressing a full dinner service in my dad’s old restaurant and I couldn’t wake up until I’d relaid all the tables at the end of service (always on the job me). Therefore, my dream tiredness was killing me so I had to find a way out – reclaiming my house. I thought if I put the house and affairs in order I could rest easy and regain restful sleep (bit like Facebook ‘what’s on my mind?’ Everything!!)

Simple? No. Not only was the sofa covered in muddy footprints, my family were emotionally distressed at my ‘absence’ due to brain fog and work crap. To set the tone, even Rosie Dog played up through lack of attention; Him being blocked when trying to leave the house – the little minx wanted to play!! Not only has she been needy and demanding on the ‘play’ and ‘walkies’ front, she’s also ruined my half finished (well ’twas) garden.

Children neglected meant ridiculously messy bedroom and disorganised lives. Little E shockingly went to London in an old cardi as we couldn’t find her best (only school) one in the ‘bomb site’. Middle child had a ‘can’t find my bag’ meltdown which resulted in missing a dance class, and the big one had to be coached through ‘prickly heat’ on FaceTime as I was too ill to give my medical advice before she left for a summer of: gyros (chips filled pitta everyday she reckons), Turkish fakes and selling boat trips for tips.

Worryingly and (anxiety levels rising) scarily, Him had been left to his own devices which enabled him to build mountains of crap on any available area of space. Also, through my general lethargy he’d begun to think he was in charge around here! This morning I took back the reins.

It wasn’t pretty. I was quite shouty and because the rot had started to set in, I had to cut it out before it started to spread, we had to go back to basics. They all needed reminding that we lived in a home and not a squat (it does resemble one at times). Mops, buckets, cloths, steamer and Hoover were distributed and orders given. Bottom lips were picked up from the floor as ‘do you see me sulking?’ And the washer has been on non-stop since (as if it’s ever off). God, I’m wasted. I should have been an army major. Even the dog got her orders for how to behave and what to do. There was rebellion on the battlefield – dog was the worst as when bathed she ran outside and dug a massive muddy hole, but they all got it in the end.

Upshot is my house looks tidy and smells clean. I’ve had time to bathe luxuriously (well 15 minutes anyway) and harmony seems to be restored. Downside? Headache back and I’m going for a lay down!

Moaning aside, I am now going to enjoy my nearest and dearest for the remainder of this ‘day of rest’. That is, bask in the glory of a beautiful family in a clean home. Everything in order. No stress and with the knowledge they’ll be no panic in the morning. That is before Tuesday morning when it’ll all unravel and go to pot. Would I have it any other way? An uncomplicated life? A lotto win? No, would I bugger! (Well maybe a cheeky £50k on the lotto would do). My life might be stupid busy and I might be juggling many balls at once but I’m a lucky lady. So, although I sound like some sort of demented witch, who no one likes due to high maintenance and being a bit OCD, I’m loved and I love. So maybe it is simple and maybe (I can say this now I’ve put my house in order) I should just smile and be happy.

One last thought, my horoscope tells me I need to look at my work/life balance. Answers on a postcard please…

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