Careless Chinese Whispers

I love a good tune. In fact my desert island essentials would have to include a solar powered radio. I can practically listen to anything (I believe this is a result of my dancing/piano playing formative years). If (when) I reach into the higher echelons of society (just remember I have my eye on a Dame hood) and am invited onto Desert Island Discs, my dithering will derail any potential list and I will be the first person to ever be ‘kicked off’ the Radio Four evergreen, for my indecision. Therefore, I believe a radio is Simply the Best piece of kit any of us could possibly posses. It has music for the eclectic music lover and chat for someone who likes to hide (less ‘like’ more ‘hastily retreat’) from the outside world, it provides interest and hilarity in equal measure. It’s a win/win and it’s all down to the Marconi, who, by my standards, is the greatest inventor ever to grace this earth. Forget Baird (in my opinion the transmitted waves wipe all intelligence from the brain) and Bell (hate the phone as it means people can find you) and all hail the man who succeeded in bringing entertainment and companionship to the masses.

So where am I going with this? I have often pondered the question ‘What is the soundtrack of my life?’ If (when) my life becomes monumentous enough for someone to biography, and subsequently to be turned into a film, it is not the leading lady I am bothered about but the music accompanying my mad story. Music sets the tone, creates a mood and puts a spring into the mundane step. So it needs to be right.  And so for that matter does the life.

Now don’t get me wrong, so far I’ve not really had a life to rival a Hollywood starlet, or compared to a survivor from World War II. However, I have (as I’m sure you all have) seen unbelievable things; overcome extreme hurdles; met some interesting people, and experienced the unforgettable. Just like me, I bet we all try to, in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s famous words: ‘to live a life you’re proud of’ (it’s true as this is documented by 80% of Facebook users for everyone to see). So with this in mind it begs the question what would you believe appropriate for my life?

And this is where it becomes interesting… The haters (examples to follow) might choose ‘Love Yourself’ or ‘You Know I’m No Good’. The lovelier of you might say ‘Paoerback Writer’ (wishes one day…) or ‘Say a Little Prayer’.
And the ask yourself why you’ve made your choices? What information have you actually used? it comes down to the question ‘What do we really know about each other?’ We take people on face value, most of the time. However, many make their own inferences from more subtle behaviours and hearsay. People like to take more stock from gossip than from actual truth.
Did you hear about…?
(chances are I haven’t (maybe it’s my can’t he arsed face) Maybe you haven’t either. Maybe you have and don’t believe it. Or maybe you know all about it (rightly or wrongly). However, the gossip train appears to rock on by me with only a cursory nod and sly wink in my direction.

Now, I need to clarify that, as far as I’m aware, there are no rumours circulating about me ATM. What has piqued this particular rambling are recent events in both the media and personally. The former that I inadvertently began a rumour, albeit in Chinese whisper style, where I read a headline where ‘Daisy made me feel sexy’ by Louise Rednapp. This I translated at 6.30am, through bleary eyes and via text to my friend, as meaning that Lowe and Napp had begun a wonderful love affair. Appears not! (Disappointing as I love s happy love story) The latter is a result of my mother’s anxiety at being approached by some woman who claimed to be able to help dad ‘if he needs chemo. It it’s leukaemia’ All sparked by him having a couple of days in hospital through an infection…she was trying to help but…

All in all a juicy rumour would certainly spice up my Hollywood script. IF (I am saying if) the following HAD actually ever happened, I’d be very screen worthy and the album would require a disc two (in not even sure if this is a thing any longer). This is where the haters come in: Although I don’t like paying lip service to scurrilous lies and loathe, I say loathe, the idiom ‘there’s no smoke without fire’. I shall tell you my most horrendous ever are (these really show the depths of how low people can stoop): ‘That baby she’s carrying can’t be her husband’s as they’ve been told they can’t have children’ (yes one person told me everyone was saying it, unbeknown to me as my friends were very excited and saw it as a sign Him wouldn’t get ill again). The time I was informed ‘he’ll be dead by Christmas’. This was the announcement, by one low life, who told everyone (after spreading lies that there was nothing wrong with Him and that he was wagging it on the sick) who would listen that Him was a gonner. Now that was 15 years ago this week and his bravery and strength has meant He is here. I’ve no idea where She is.

So, sacking off the haters, what’s my point? It’s back to the soundtrack. When real life happens like the aforementioned challenging and emotional episode, negativity and vitriol was snuffed and instead comfort and strength was aided and abetted by a good solid soundtrack. Think telly ad for ‘Life Story’ soundtrack...Every time I walked to the chemo ward the song ‘Wires’ played out in my head. The falling snow to ‘Driving Home Gor Christmas’ gave me hope. And ‘Silent Night’ sang on Christmas Eve, with my newborn in my arms, in the sanitary of the church by the light of a single candle, promised a better future.
As months turned into years we carefully chose our wedding song ‘Lets Stay Together’, drank in the gondolier ‘O Sole Mio’ on our honeymoon and all learnt the ‘American Boy’ rap as little E was born. You see, the soundtrack to my life is my life (feel good moment).

I, who have already chosen my funeral songs (you’ll all be there a while) always holds a song in my head to accompany every occasion. If you see me sitting quietly it’s because there’s a something strumming away in my head. My favourite time is when I leave work accompanied by an uplifting movie soundtrack playing brilliantly and silently, to boost my jaded mood. You see, it’s like there’s a constant radio show playing in my head. I listen, comment and play the tunes whilst people fill in the segways with chatter and items of interest. ‘All the world’s a stage and the men and women are merely players’. For a bloke who wrote those words over 500 years ago, Shakespeare was certainly very perceptive.

Careless Chinese whispers are what’s coined as human nature. People only hear what they want to hear. My advice is that you’ve bold and shape your own life story by doing what makes YOU happy and don’t just life a life you’re proud of but set it to a soundtrack that moves and shakes you. Makes you laugh, cry and love. Let it wrap around you and keep you warm. You’re the presenter. DJ and producer. Grab hold and make it a BAFTA worthy tale.

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