Where’ve I been? Some have asked these last couple of weeks.
Whilst recharging my batteries like a solar lamp, I’ve mostly been contemplating my next move in this thing called life.
It’s exciting isn’t it? Looking at new horizons, whilst laying horizontal with the sound of sea, cicadas and Swannie’s 2019 playlist on a loop…but having the time to actually think is something I should have cherished more, because when I got home, life hit. Children made noise (even my furry one), Hotel Ramblings has been at full occupancy for the holidays, and Karl needed Prosecco…but whilst I’ve been taking Rosie Dog for her daily, I’ve had some time to think about life, and well…
Now don’t misunderstand me, I’ve not come up with a life changing masterplan. Unfortunately, there’s no blueprint hidden in a safe in a discreet bank in Switzerland. No, what I have discovered is that I’ve spent forty (ahem) years worrying about EVERYTHING, when in actual fact there was no need. Bad stuff has happened. We’ve survived. We are here. So what’s the worst that can happen? (Bravado I know but…)
So in between the above shenanigans, revelations, and unpaid workload, this summer has been spent: sunbathing (yes I know the dangers but…). Running miles upon miles along the coast – until tragedy (now I’ll come back to that in a minute). Reading some fabulous and some not so, books. Helping people drink alcoholic beverages, and (here’s for the disappointing bit) being, sadly, sucked into a non-writing void caused by a very busy home, noisy children, a needy RDog, etc. which all made me further evaluate that life is running away from me (do I really keep mentioning the drain of house life?)
So, what have I discovered and decided about this plan? You ask (get on with it woman!)
Well, let me tell you some stories…
Recently, Him’s life oracle (true story), told him to take that trip to Las Vegas that we’ve been asked to go on, as ‘life’s too short’. (Cliche maybe, but as previously documented, the magic oracle has rarely been wrong.). She has also told us that the planned extension will go ahead and that Him’s Wife (me!) is aworrying and needn’t as ‘she’s good at what she does. Therefore, hope springs eternal that our money tree (surely we all have them?) grows and that my confidence and ability do too.
You see, I need the latter to happen and sooner than you think. On Sunday 8th September, my lovely running guide and I are doing the Great North Run for Retina UK. No problem, you’d think, but an old injury has stopped play and I’ve not trained for a week (depression is beginning to shroud) This means I’m crapping (it’s not swearing as it’s named after Thomas Crapper the lavatory maker) myself that I’m going to bomb. This will not only let my supporters down but also my public as we have front starting line passes (cos’ then no one gets in my way ‘no one puts baby in a corner’) and we’ll be live on the telly (set your VHS recorders now on timer). Upshot – I feel sick.
But, (don’t hold your breath but do sponsor as it’ll help) the good news is my leg is feeling better so tomorrow I am having a short test run. I am super petrified it’s all going to go wrong. So I’ve ordered enough rock tape to mummify Mo Farrah and I literally have it all crossed.
That’s the Immediate future, and my summer in a little nutshell (I also had some fabulous time in Greece with my family)
However, it’s back to work on Monday and I now require the strength of confidence to actually teach again. But rather than dwell on my immediate insecurities (see previous reevaluations whist doggie walking), I’m all about focussing on the wish list.
Aren’t we told we need a five year plan?
THE WISH LIST/FIVE YEAR PLAN
(don’t quote me EVER on this and remember it’s about aspirations not realism. What’s the point in making a boring list?)
- Extension (full plan,no compromise)
- Happy and successful children (who can drive me around)
- – Mortgage free (quickly)
- Second home in Greece (plus jetty and boat)
- Anti-ageing cure (non-negotiable)
- Perfect work/life balance (can you imagine?)
- Self replenishing/funded wardrobe (sponsored by the Parisian fashion houses)
- Write that best seller (this must happen as I’ve four unfinished novels)
- A cure for retinitis pigmentosa
- Global warming to reverse
- World peace
NB. if The Oracle has any thing right, then I can tick a couple off.
Obviously, you’d think the cure for RP would be my ultimate goal. But is that what I’d really wish for over living a comfortable and happy life?
Back to the sun-bed revelations…I’m not being flippant and ungrateful, but the blindness thing I’ve decided I can now manage. This is the thing, the thing I’ve thought about the most…I don’t care like I did. If the sight goes then I’ll manage. You see, I’ll always have love and laughter, and blindness will not diminish my intelligence. I am me. My blindness, which, if truth be told, my mum noticed problems at the age of five. I’ve been living with this all my life. I just needed to get over it.
Why should it ever define me?
It won’t any longer.
This is what I know:
Well, people look, judge and stare. They can do what they want but they’ll never have the magic beans I have. That’s what I’ve learnt on my (always broken, it doesn’t matter which one I bloody pick) sun lounger: I’ll always have my friends and family; I’ll always have a brilliant life – it’s what I was born for; It’ll never be dull (see previous); I’ll forever have laughter and love because that’s what I surround myself with.
What do I need the most then? Let’s get past the WISH LIST and in the words of the Lionel Richie himself ‘we’re gonna have a party’ and ‘Jambo Jambo’ (to experience this you need to attend Him’s bar where consumption of negroni and Peroni are essential).
Life is for the taking! We need the good times…
But, for the other twenty three other hours of the day….
I fight back and grasp life . It’s called bloody living and I enjoy my good and fulfilling life, unashamedly.
So, although it might be too late for me, help me raise money for others facing inherited sight loss. All you need to do is bloomin’ well get your hand in your pocket and sponsor me for the Great North Run 2019:
Please keep us RP sufferers and our amazing community alive and support us wholeheartedly.
See you Sunday!
Mrs S xxxx